Decide to write a story. Try to think of plot/character ideas. Curse lack of imagination. Finally, something vague, something ill-formed appears. Jot idea in notebook. Go do something else. Come back to notebook. Idea is rubbish. Think harder. Coffee, alcohol, lack of sleep, chocolate, long walk in the rain—another idea appears. Write it down. Rubbish too, but better than nothing. Write story. Is this a story? Rework it. Rework it some more. Read it out loud. Show it to girlfriend. ‘I don’t get it,’ she says. Walk away sulking. Shout at the wall. Hover over delete key. Take a deep breath. It can be saved! Change everything about the story. Deadline arrives. Ending still rubbish. Pluck title from thin air. Send it/Print it. Repeat.
